Holding On: Prayer, Pictures, and Special K

Please be praying for my family right now.
My grandpa's in the hospital because of congestive heart failure. He went in last Thursday, but we only found out on Saturday. He wasn't supposed to survive past Sunday. But yesterday they moved him out of ICU. Now the doctors are saying he'll only be alive for about 3-6 months and he has to either go to a convalescent hospital or my abuelita has to take care of him at home. He wants the second one. The only problem with that is that my abuelita can barely care for herself. So, we're praying about what to do about that situation. We may be moving them all out here with us. My abuelito, my abuelita, and my (great) tia. My mom left town on Monday morning at 3:30 a.m. to fly to Texas (with my baby brother) to help my grandma (abuelita). My grandparents are both in their 80s and their English isn't what it use to be-so until my mom arrived on Monday, there was a little bit of a language barrier. [See, my half Mexican side comes from them. :)] Anyway, my mom was only supposed to be gone for 3 weeks. Nothing's official yet, but she'll probably be gone a bit longer than that. Which means I am "Sissy"/Mommy...and my sisters(7 and 8-almost 9) and my dad miss my mom. A lot.

On Monday, I took a day off of work so I could be available to pick up my sisters from school and surprise them by taking them to see High School Musical 3: Senior Year.

<-- They loved it!

Their Sharpay impressions -->

I have a lot I'm praying about and trying to figure out too. This kind of came as a shock. I was planning on finshing this semester at the local junior college, moving out mid-December and starting internship at my church in January. But I don't think any of that is going to happen right now. It'll all probably be delayed until further notice. I'm going to try to get an appointment with a counselor at my school to see what I can work out with my classes and finals-if anything...but being "mom" means I don't know what I'll be able to do for them. And financially, moving out now isn't an option. My parents are going to be depending on my rent check now more than ever (never thought I'd see the day)...and they need my help/moral support. So maybe I'll be able to move out/start internship next fall...?
I don't know...All I know is that God's in control. And Jeremiah 29:11, 2 Corinthians 5:7, Isaiah 41:10, and Isaiah 40:31. But, aside from the fact that you're praying for us, I think that's all I need to know. God promised me He has a plan for me. That He'll strengthen, help, and hold me. So I'm going to hold onto that and walk by faith, not by sight. It doesn't mean I won't get overwhelmed or upset at times-I'm human. But I know that God will be there when I do feel that way. I know He'll be there no matter what.
<-- I took this pic on Saturday, just a few hours after I found out about my abuelito. Ironic that it was right over the hospital... but God couldn't have chosen a more perfect time to remind me that I'm never alone.

On a lighter note:

If you thought I was kidding about being obsessed with taking pictures of the sky during this time of year/kind of weather...I strongly urge you to take off your socks. They're about to be blown off. I took 31 pictures of just the sky in 2 days time. This while I was supposed to be either driving or taking pictures of the family get-together we just had for Thanksgiving/Christmas...what can I say? ;p

On an even lighter note:
I have a question. Do you like Special K cereal with the strawberries? Every time I pour it into my bowl, I ask myself this question: Do I want to pick through and get rid of the strawberries, or do I want to eat them? Don't get me wrong, I love strawberries. Juicy, red, and sweet ...I mean, what's not to love? And when they're chocolate-covered? Or with a fondue... mmm mmm good! But, in Special K cereal...well, the snozberries just don't taste like snozberries. They're a little bitter...I don't know how to describe it exactly. I like them, but then I don't. I can never decide. So I usually just decide to be lazy and eat them. Tonight I had this same dilemma; however, tonight I voiced my hesitancy and conflict to my younger 18-year-old brother. He actually agreed with me. No weird look. No crazy face. No eye-rolling. He agreed. I was pleasantly shocked. But, are we weird? And am I weird for spending so much thought on it? I mean, in the end I guess it doesn't matter if the snozberries taste like snozberries or the strawberries in Special K cereal taste like strawberries...
But it still bothers me!

much love.

Words -> Action

So, I decided I want to try to post a new blog daily. Hopefully this won't be in the "epic failure" category...you know, along with losing 10 pounds by summer...I gained about 10 since I said that instead...at the very least 5.

Shocking, I know. Anyway, today was Thursday. And on Thursdays, I have leadership for one of the churches I'm involved in. Tonight, because it was the first Thursday of the month, was what we call a "M:X" or "mission" night. Basically, leadership gets split up into two groups: the L:X (leaders/those who mentor) and the LIT's (leaders-in-training/those who don't mentor/"mentorees"). The LIT's meet at the church and the L:X's go to Pastor's house.

Tonight was amazing. Where do I start? Ok, so if you've read my other blogs-or at least my first one-you know that I've been a Christian pretty much my entire life. Most of that time has been spent in one charasmatic-or pentecostal-church or another. When I was younger, it was all about Brownsville. I read Aimee Semple McPherson's autobiography This is That when I was about ten years old. I've been singing, "people get ready, Jesus is comin'" for the past...oh man...eleven years now? Maybe longer...Anyway, tonight at leadership we watched an interview of Kim Walker. That woman is incredible. Truly annointed and inspiring. Then we had an intense time of prayer and worship. Jesus Culture played, then Misty Edwards. The song People Get Ready started playing. http://www.rhapsody.com/mistyedwards/relentless/peoplegetready If you haven't heard it, check it out. So, I was worshipping and praying and suddenly I stopped. I felt the need to stop and look around. God reminded me of all the other times I'd sung the words, "people get ready, Jesus is coming", and all the people I'd sung it with. Every time, over the last eleven years, we'd meant it. Every time, over the last eleven years, a declaration had been made that we would make a difference. We would reach the lost. We would start a revolution in our city. It was going to happen. It never did. See, we had the talk. We'd walk the walk half way. But, nothing much ever changed. Nothing ever really happened. My city is still full of people who are headed to Hell in an ignorant hand basket. But tonight...it was different. Tonight, people sang it with every fiber of their beings. They meant it. Words were being put into action even as they left the mouth. It was encouraging. Powerful. Inspiring. Most definitely a God thing. Kind of like that sky at the beginning of my entry. xD

So, here's to new beginnings. And old words finding their meanings. And words being put into action even as they leave the mouth.

much love.

Stranger

Where I live, there are several towns surrounding my "city". My "city" is the county seat and therefore considered the "city" for many people in our area. In reality, it's nothing more than about 203,955 people (as of July 2007)...although we apparently have a "metropolitan population (of) over 500,000 people". Still, generally speaking, it's the kind of city where everyone knows everyone, or-in the off chance that you don't know a person-they undoubtedly know your brother or a close friend. That's just how it works. It's the kind of place where-if you've lived here long enough-you can't go out (shopping, eating, or otherwise) without running into someone you know (or knew). And many times the towns surrounding my city intertwine socially, and it takes very little time to get from my city to another town (as long as you're on the ritgh side of the "city").
That said, about a month ago I was at work in one of our adjoining towns. I work with Autistic kids-behavior therapy-and sometimes have a school and/or home shift. That day, I started work in that other town at a school shift, then had a lunch break, then to that same client's home, and finally I ended my work day at the center in my "city". Typical Friday. Except, I was out of gas. I made the 45 minute drive (traffic, ugh) to this other town and realized that I'd have to get gas on my lunch. No problem. I finished my school shift, walk my client and his mom to their car to ensure that my client didn't throw a tantrum or have an inflexibility, and head to the nearest gas station. After I'd pulled up to the pump, I called my bank to see exactly how much money I had. I was expecting a balance of about $20-30. Not a lot, but enough to keep me going until my next pay check as I'd paid all my bills.

"Please enter your acount number."
******
"Please enter your pin number."
****
"You are now logged in. For check..."
1
"To get your..."
1
"Your account, with suffix ** is currently overdrawn $45. Please come to the bank and make a deposit immediately."
Crap.

I immediately discovered that I had spent $5 too much and had therefore incurred a $40 fee. Yikes! I scrambled for my wallet. No money at all. Nothing. Zilch. Nada....save for a $20 gift card to Target I'd gotten from my aunt as a late birthday gift. No help. Then the reality of it all hit me. I was about 45 minutes away from home and anybody who could possibly help me...with no gas and no money. I was freaking out...I mean, I was a total spaz.

*thinks*
'Ok, Michelle...calm yourself down.'
*prays*
'Alright.'
*goes inside and sees an employee (who turned out to be the manager)*
"Hello, ma'am. How're you doing today?"
"Um...well...uh...I'm doing...okay..."
"You don't sound too sure about that...is there anything I can help you with?"
"Well...actually..."

And I told the man my story. I think he must have had some trouble with overdrawn bank accounts before in his life; because, when I had finished he turned around to address the man working behind the counter and:

"Hey, Bob, you need a $20 gift card to Target for anything?"
"No..."
"Sure ya do. You got $20?"
"Not on me."
"Ok, I'll tell you what? We'll go 50/50 on this. $10 each. You can pay me back later."

And with that this man I'd never met before, this kind-hearted stranger, took out his wallet and handed me a $20 bill. He directed me to give both the gift card and the $20 bill to the guy at the counter. Then I walked out to my car, got some gas, and went back to work...slightly embarrassed and incredibly humbled by my oversight, this stranger's generosity, and God's faithfulness to take care of His own. Now, I don't really remember either of their names...but I think that's okay, don't you?

Writing prompt from: http://oneminutewriter.blogspot.com/2008/11/todays-writing-prompt-stranger.html

much love.

I Find the Weather Outside Delightful

I really, honestly do! xD And I'm obsessed with taking pictures of the sky. I was the same way last year too. In fact, if you ever see a girl with a really old Kodak EasyShare on the side of the road taking pictures of the sky...it could very well be me. Recently, the sky has been amazing. Truly magnificent. God is incredible. And the fact that He-who is omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, infinite, the Alpha and Omega, the creator of the heavens and the earth, Yahweh, the I Am-I mean, the fact that He’s God...and that He loves me boggles my mind. I love that I can know that no matter what He is in charge. I love that what He does in the sky-however big and brilliant I think it is-is such a small part, such a tiny piece of His beauty. I wrote this about eight or nine months ago, but here:

I needed some Inspiration
Divine Inspiration
To guide this examination
Of my enamoured soul

Holy Spirit light a fire
Let it pierce me deep within
And burn away all the sin
From my enamoured soul

The other day I saw the face
Of my redeeming grace
And it captured completely
My enamoured soul

Just a glimpse of Your splendor
Just a taste of Your goodness
A sip of Your mercy captivates
My enamoured soul

I absolutely love God. I mean, seriously. That's pretty much it right now. I just wanted to share my sky with you. Hope you're doing fantastic! (I love how I'm writing as though someone's reading...as I don't even have any "followers" yet, lol.)

much love.

Hey There!

I used to have a livejournal. In fact, I still know how to log onto my old one. But I wanted to start fresh without erasing the memories I have on that account. So...I made a blogspot. :) I like writing and journaling...so I figured I might as well just do it.

Side-note:
Any time that I sound "preachy" at all in my posts, it's because it's generally about something God's taking me through, or showing me, or it's something God's just reiterating to me...so just be aware that "preaching" at you is never my intention when I first begin a post...or ever. Unless I tell you I'm going to be preaching...in which case all I can say is: you were warned. :D

Ok, so basically this first post is an intro to...well...me. This is the description on my youtube...and pretty accurately describes me without going into a ton of detail:

I'm a P.K. (Pastor's Kid). Which could explain a lot. I'm also a contradiction of sorts. What I mean is, many things about me are contradictory. For example, most people would describe me as incredibly outgoing; but I can be one of the shyest people ever sometimes. I don't care what people think and have very little shame (within reason) when I'm just hanging out; but it is relatively easy to make me blush embarrassedly. I highly dislike heights; but I love mountain climbing. I love talking with people and being out and about; but I also adore times when I get to get comfy in my sweats and just read-losing myself as I do. I can be hyper, crazy, goofy, silly, you name it; but when it's time to work, I've been told I scare people-nothing distracts me when I'm really focused. Although these are only some examples, there is one thing about me that's never a contradiction: my love for God.

The facts:

• I'm 19.
• I've been a Christian since I was 3...like, I actually started my relationship with Christ when I was 3.
• I've never been perfect. I never will be.
• I backslid in high school. Not majorly...but enough. No sin is any greater than another; in God's eyes it's all sin. I wasn't the best witness or example. Especially my sophomore and junior years. Senior year I got back on track. If you want to know more about any of that, just ask. :) I'd type it all now, but I don't even know if anyone would be interested in knowing that; and I don't feel like typing out my life story right this second, lol.
• I did theatre, especially musical theatre, for about 14 years. Actually, if we're being really technical, I'm still doing it. I'm just on the directorial/production/writing side now...to be completely honest, I love doing what I'm doing with theatre (My drama teacher in high school said I had "natural instinct when it comes to acting and directing" and that she could see me as a great director...of course she only told that to my parents. I tried so hard to please that woman.); but I miss being on stage. I miss acting. I miss the stress-filled rehearsals; cramming lines, blocking, songs and choreography into my brain; I miss diving into the life of another person and feeling like I really am truly walking in another person's shoes; I miss the costumes; I miss Ben Nye (haha, that dreadful stage make-up...my poor skin); I miss AquaNet (ok, so maybe I don't miss that stuff...I hated that stuff. It's hard to wash out and then if you have that spray-on hair dye on top of one layer of AquaNet and then spray another layer of AquaNet on top of it...nightmares!); I miss the lights, the people, the adrenaline rush...and that feeling of accomplishment at the end of a show. For two hours, we were able to entertain people. And-drama, comedy, or dramedy-for two hours, people were able to forget about their worries, their cares, their concerns...for two hours, life didn't exist outside of that building. For two hours, people were swept away from their seats into a magical place, a far-away land, a distant time period, or right next-door...but, wherever it was, it wasn't their seat. And I was a part of that. That's why the entertainment industry survived The Great Depression. Wow. You know what? God does that same thing. Except He's not in a two-hour industry...His work lasts for eternity. Imagine:
  
  

  For eternity, I provided for people. And-life in shambles, just won the lottery, or caught up the whirlwind called "life"-for eternity, people were able to forget about their worries, their cares, their concerns...for eternity, life didn't exist outside of Me. For eternity, people were swept away from their knees into a miraculous place, an oasis of sorts, My arms, My love, My joy, My peace, My presence...but, wherever it was, it wasn't their knees. And I did all that.

• Oh man. I love God.
• If I had to describe myself in one word: Michelle.

Haha, this wasn't supposed to be that long; so, if you're still reading this, thank you! xD

much love.